mood: crying
music: a perfect circle - what's going on
mudvayne - not falling
the polyphonic spree - section 23

She's still got it. She still knows just what to say to make me feel unloved and meaningless. I thought I'd be okay having a friendly conversation with her but there's no god damn way. She pierces my heart like a dagger would with each and every line. She's cold and emotionless. A true devil. All I did was thank her for loving me. And all she could do was mock me. I honestly thought I would never cry over her again. If you could see me now. You'd cringe with fear at my rage. I swear I could kill her. I could strangle the life out of her with content. To bathe in her blood would be a fitting ending to our romance.

mood: philosophical
music: the postal service - nothing better
stars - your ex-lover is dead
frou frou - maddening shroud
the shins - turn on me
andrew bird - banking on a myth
tegan & sara - knife going in
the shins - red rabbits

Want to run away with me? If I told you I was fed up and was running away to Tokyo, would you come with? You know who you are. Only a few people read this blog. Don't worry I'm not fed up with anything yet but I would love to know if you would throw everything away and start anew. I always ask too much of people. I ask for the impossible. I want someone who doesn't have anything to run from but would anyway for the hell of it or even better, for me. You might think it's crazy but I'd do the same for you people.

Sarra is the one person I see myself loving forever and ever and ever. A true friend. As true as they come. I was once very confused. She is absolutely horrible at expressing her love and so I questioned it but I wasn't understanding enough. She loves me as much as I love her and i think we'll one day buy a giant hundred dollar chunk of cheese and discuss this properly :P

Sarah is adorable and really kind-hearted. She could dislike me and I'd think she's a wonderful person. She's in my dreams a lot for some odd reason. I know you'll read this but I have to be honest here in my blog. I wouldn't mind dating you.

Sara seems like a load of fun but we never have the chance to do stuff. Just chilling with her is cool but we need to go do something. Take me out somewhere. You can drive and aren't afraid of it. Let's go to the city together sometime. With or without others.

There was supposed to be negatives mentioned as well but I actually don't think negatively about either of you. And for Sarra, I once thought you were a very beautiful person :P Then you went back to being my friend ^_____^

mood: indescribable

music: yeah yeah yeahs - down boy
the hush sound - don't wake me up

frou frou - hear me out

frou frou - let go
okkervil river - a girl in port
gregory and the hawk - in fact
regina spektor - somedays
modest mouse - bankrupt on selling

There's a lot that needs to be said. Let's start off with Amani. I never want to get with her. She irritates me. I have a few other girls in mind. Girls who respect me more. I'll be single until next semester though. I don't want to jump into any relationship just yet. I don't want to be uncertain and end up hurting an innocent girl. They say you can sleep knowing that people suffer but you can never sleep knowing you made people suffer.

I can't travel this summer. I forgot all about Fahima coming to visit. I wouldn't miss that for the world. I feel bad for Akhi. Lucas dumped her and now she has the same fate as her sister. How can I save everyone? If I'm not the hero, then who is? I hope someday I'll have what it takes to not let anyone down. To catch those who fall.

Changing the subject to marriage. I was talking to someone and I won't mention who it is but I kinda sorta made her want to marry me. So I was like, there are other people out there like me. It doesn't have to be me who marries you. I like the girl a bit but I'm not going to think about marrying anyone just yet.

Last but not least, money. Imagine not having a cent after college and me having to stay here in this godforsaken place another year or so. I need to save up. Dreams don't come cheap.