mood: in love
music: black lips - can't dance
cortney tidwell - pictures on the sidewalk
azure ray - no signs of a pain
cortney tidwell - hard 2 tell
The tears streamed down her cheeks. I didn't know what to say. This was not the reaction I had expected. My heart was throbbing and my mind racing. All I did was propose and tell her that I love her. She had said yes and I love you too and made me oh so happy.
I'm going to tell my mom today. Wish me luck.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
mood: crying
music: a perfect circle - what's going on
mudvayne - not falling
the polyphonic spree - section 23
She's still got it. She still knows just what to say to make me feel unloved and meaningless. I thought I'd be okay having a friendly conversation with her but there's no god damn way. She pierces my heart like a dagger would with each and every line. She's cold and emotionless. A true devil. All I did was thank her for loving me. And all she could do was mock me. I honestly thought I would never cry over her again. If you could see me now. You'd cringe with fear at my rage. I swear I could kill her. I could strangle the life out of her with content. To bathe in her blood would be a fitting ending to our romance.
music: a perfect circle - what's going on
mudvayne - not falling
the polyphonic spree - section 23
She's still got it. She still knows just what to say to make me feel unloved and meaningless. I thought I'd be okay having a friendly conversation with her but there's no god damn way. She pierces my heart like a dagger would with each and every line. She's cold and emotionless. A true devil. All I did was thank her for loving me. And all she could do was mock me. I honestly thought I would never cry over her again. If you could see me now. You'd cringe with fear at my rage. I swear I could kill her. I could strangle the life out of her with content. To bathe in her blood would be a fitting ending to our romance.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
mood: philosophical
music: the postal service - nothing better
stars - your ex-lover is dead
frou frou - maddening shroud
the shins - turn on me
andrew bird - banking on a myth
tegan & sara - knife going in
the shins - red rabbits
Want to run away with me? If I told you I was fed up and was running away to Tokyo, would you come with? You know who you are. Only a few people read this blog. Don't worry I'm not fed up with anything yet but I would love to know if you would throw everything away and start anew. I always ask too much of people. I ask for the impossible. I want someone who doesn't have anything to run from but would anyway for the hell of it or even better, for me. You might think it's crazy but I'd do the same for you people.
Sarra is the one person I see myself loving forever and ever and ever. A true friend. As true as they come. I was once very confused. She is absolutely horrible at expressing her love and so I questioned it but I wasn't understanding enough. She loves me as much as I love her and i think we'll one day buy a giant hundred dollar chunk of cheese and discuss this properly :P
Sarah is adorable and really kind-hearted. She could dislike me and I'd think she's a wonderful person. She's in my dreams a lot for some odd reason. I know you'll read this but I have to be honest here in my blog. I wouldn't mind dating you.
Sara seems like a load of fun but we never have the chance to do stuff. Just chilling with her is cool but we need to go do something. Take me out somewhere. You can drive and aren't afraid of it. Let's go to the city together sometime. With or without others.
There was supposed to be negatives mentioned as well but I actually don't think negatively about either of you. And for Sarra, I once thought you were a very beautiful person :P Then you went back to being my friend ^_____^
music: the postal service - nothing better
stars - your ex-lover is dead
frou frou - maddening shroud
the shins - turn on me
andrew bird - banking on a myth
tegan & sara - knife going in
the shins - red rabbits
Want to run away with me? If I told you I was fed up and was running away to Tokyo, would you come with? You know who you are. Only a few people read this blog. Don't worry I'm not fed up with anything yet but I would love to know if you would throw everything away and start anew. I always ask too much of people. I ask for the impossible. I want someone who doesn't have anything to run from but would anyway for the hell of it or even better, for me. You might think it's crazy but I'd do the same for you people.
Sarra is the one person I see myself loving forever and ever and ever. A true friend. As true as they come. I was once very confused. She is absolutely horrible at expressing her love and so I questioned it but I wasn't understanding enough. She loves me as much as I love her and i think we'll one day buy a giant hundred dollar chunk of cheese and discuss this properly :P
Sarah is adorable and really kind-hearted. She could dislike me and I'd think she's a wonderful person. She's in my dreams a lot for some odd reason. I know you'll read this but I have to be honest here in my blog. I wouldn't mind dating you.
Sara seems like a load of fun but we never have the chance to do stuff. Just chilling with her is cool but we need to go do something. Take me out somewhere. You can drive and aren't afraid of it. Let's go to the city together sometime. With or without others.
There was supposed to be negatives mentioned as well but I actually don't think negatively about either of you. And for Sarra, I once thought you were a very beautiful person :P Then you went back to being my friend ^_____^
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
mood: indescribable
music: yeah yeah yeahs - down boythe hush sound - don't wake me up
frou frou - hear me out
frou frou - let gookkervil river - a girl in port
gregory and the hawk - in fact
regina spektor - somedays
modest mouse - bankrupt on selling
There's a lot that needs to be said. Let's start off with Amani. I never want to get with her. She irritates me. I have a few other girls in mind. Girls who respect me more. I'll be single until next semester though. I don't want to jump into any relationship just yet. I don't want to be uncertain and end up hurting an innocent girl. They say you can sleep knowing that people suffer but you can never sleep knowing you made people suffer.
I can't travel this summer. I forgot all about Fahima coming to visit. I wouldn't miss that for the world. I feel bad for Akhi. Lucas dumped her and now she has the same fate as her sister. How can I save everyone? If I'm not the hero, then who is? I hope someday I'll have what it takes to not let anyone down. To catch those who fall.
Changing the subject to marriage. I was talking to someone and I won't mention who it is but I kinda sorta made her want to marry me. So I was like, there are other people out there like me. It doesn't have to be me who marries you. I like the girl a bit but I'm not going to think about marrying anyone just yet.
Last but not least, money. Imagine not having a cent after college and me having to stay here in this godforsaken place another year or so. I need to save up. Dreams don't come cheap.
I can't travel this summer. I forgot all about Fahima coming to visit. I wouldn't miss that for the world. I feel bad for Akhi. Lucas dumped her and now she has the same fate as her sister. How can I save everyone? If I'm not the hero, then who is? I hope someday I'll have what it takes to not let anyone down. To catch those who fall.
Changing the subject to marriage. I was talking to someone and I won't mention who it is but I kinda sorta made her want to marry me. So I was like, there are other people out there like me. It doesn't have to be me who marries you. I like the girl a bit but I'm not going to think about marrying anyone just yet.
Last but not least, money. Imagine not having a cent after college and me having to stay here in this godforsaken place another year or so. I need to save up. Dreams don't come cheap.
Monday, January 28, 2008
lights really turn on with realizations
mood: good
music: stars - one more night
the arcade fire - i'm sleeping in a submarine
tegan and sara - take me anywhere
yeah yeah yeahs - cheated hearts
belle & sebastian - wandering alone
andrew bird - measuring cups
the shins - turn a square
a perfect circle - blue
tool - part of me
smashing pumpkins - today
Today started out like any other. It also ended like any other. But in between, something magical happened. Me and Sarra had revelations galore. We made fun of Emman together and moped over the suckiness of our lives like the good ol' days. Ah the good ol' days. The days of foolishness and curiosity and of course first loves. I only mention first loves so I could mention how I am still physically attracted to my ex guardian force.
The other thing on my mind is money and how I need it so. I'm tired of working hard and having nothing to show for it. I've now set my my sights on some get rich quick schemes. Most of them are half baked and so I need to think of my own full proof ones. I need to work on my novel because it should be at least a little bit amusing to write and should rake in the dough.
Moving on to another subject, I was working hard today on my homework and felt a sense of accomplishment. It's been a while since I've experienced that one. I'm starting to think that life isn't so bad. I wonder how long that'll last. I give it a couple of hours. Life will go back to sucking in the morning when I have to wake up for my 8:30 class.
I got to thinking about Amani. Do I really want her or am I just bored of the way things are? I don't really know and so I'll give the thought more time to swim around in my head. I do know that if i meet anybody more daring and reckless, I'll be all over them like jelly on peanut butter. Also I wouldn't mind them all over me which is the rare case of someone spreading the jelly first or the sandwich might be flipped.
music: stars - one more night
the arcade fire - i'm sleeping in a submarine
tegan and sara - take me anywhere
yeah yeah yeahs - cheated hearts
belle & sebastian - wandering alone
andrew bird - measuring cups
the shins - turn a square
a perfect circle - blue
tool - part of me
smashing pumpkins - today
Today started out like any other. It also ended like any other. But in between, something magical happened. Me and Sarra had revelations galore. We made fun of Emman together and moped over the suckiness of our lives like the good ol' days. Ah the good ol' days. The days of foolishness and curiosity and of course first loves. I only mention first loves so I could mention how I am still physically attracted to my ex guardian force.
The other thing on my mind is money and how I need it so. I'm tired of working hard and having nothing to show for it. I've now set my my sights on some get rich quick schemes. Most of them are half baked and so I need to think of my own full proof ones. I need to work on my novel because it should be at least a little bit amusing to write and should rake in the dough.
Moving on to another subject, I was working hard today on my homework and felt a sense of accomplishment. It's been a while since I've experienced that one. I'm starting to think that life isn't so bad. I wonder how long that'll last. I give it a couple of hours. Life will go back to sucking in the morning when I have to wake up for my 8:30 class.
I got to thinking about Amani. Do I really want her or am I just bored of the way things are? I don't really know and so I'll give the thought more time to swim around in my head. I do know that if i meet anybody more daring and reckless, I'll be all over them like jelly on peanut butter. Also I wouldn't mind them all over me which is the rare case of someone spreading the jelly first or the sandwich might be flipped.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
and so it began
mood: relaxed
music: bat for lashes - prescilla
loquat - need air
stars - elevator love letter
keane - can't stop now
the decemberists - grace cathedral hill
gregory and the hawk - avalanche! oh, avalanche!
iron and wine - naked as we came
regina spektor - chemo limo
the vines - ride
the postal service - brand new colony
Let's talk about the first week of the new semester at school. As soon as I was back, it felt like I had never left. My attitude though was different. I was serious this time. I was going to give it my all even if it meant I'd be one of those people who always study and don't ever have any fun because of it. My counselor recommends 12 credits but I have 19 and I plan on keeping all of them and passing each class with no lower than a B. But that is only one of the many goals I have set for myself. My ultimate goal is to save enough money to be able to travel the globe. I want to be able to do exciting and daring things. Base jumping off of cliffs in Norway is one of those things. I also hope to take someone special with me to share the experience with. Which reminds me. If I still can, I'll go rescue Fahima from her misery. I love Fahima and I love her sister Akhi. Both of them have impacted my life greatly and because of them I feel the need to impact someone else's life in a similar way. Have them remember me forever as I will remember the Haidar sisters for an eternity. What of romantic love then? I once thought Fahima was the one for me but I have matured plenty since then. I now believe that the person I end up with is the person I am meant to be with. I am currently trying to win Amani's love and will continue to try until I succeed or until I am rendered incapable of trying.
music: bat for lashes - prescilla
loquat - need air
stars - elevator love letter
keane - can't stop now
the decemberists - grace cathedral hill
gregory and the hawk - avalanche! oh, avalanche!
iron and wine - naked as we came
regina spektor - chemo limo
the vines - ride
the postal service - brand new colony
Let's talk about the first week of the new semester at school. As soon as I was back, it felt like I had never left. My attitude though was different. I was serious this time. I was going to give it my all even if it meant I'd be one of those people who always study and don't ever have any fun because of it. My counselor recommends 12 credits but I have 19 and I plan on keeping all of them and passing each class with no lower than a B. But that is only one of the many goals I have set for myself. My ultimate goal is to save enough money to be able to travel the globe. I want to be able to do exciting and daring things. Base jumping off of cliffs in Norway is one of those things. I also hope to take someone special with me to share the experience with. Which reminds me. If I still can, I'll go rescue Fahima from her misery. I love Fahima and I love her sister Akhi. Both of them have impacted my life greatly and because of them I feel the need to impact someone else's life in a similar way. Have them remember me forever as I will remember the Haidar sisters for an eternity. What of romantic love then? I once thought Fahima was the one for me but I have matured plenty since then. I now believe that the person I end up with is the person I am meant to be with. I am currently trying to win Amani's love and will continue to try until I succeed or until I am rendered incapable of trying.
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